faith, uncertainty, and valleys

When Dom was about to leave us a few weeks ago, I remember telling a friend that I didn't understand how this fit into God's plan for our life.  She looked me square in the eye and said "This is not about you.  This is not part of God's plan to build  your family.  Maybe this was just about Domiean, and the part God wanted you to play in his life."  I don't know why I was so struck by her words.  But I realized that my perspective was way off.  I was viewing the situation and wondering how it fit into  my plan to build my family, and not trusting how it fits into God's plan.  Why is this so hard?  Why do I try to predict or control the future and have trouble placing faith in Him daily?  With very little certainty in our lives, sometimes we have no choice but to cling to the rock of our salvation, the author and perfector of our faith.  I wish that trust and faith in God came naturally but too often I am reminded that sometimes he forces you into a place where you  must   put your trust in Him.   

 

"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted loss for the sake of Christ.  More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them rubbish so that I may gain Christ...that I may know him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death."  (Phil. 3:7-8, 10)

 

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison."

    

Read an encouraging post today http://acupofjoy.wordpress.com/2007/10/24/daily-dose-of-joy-6/trackback/  that reminded me of this poem.  I used to have it posted on my desk at the church I worked at in Miami.  It was a good reminder :-)

 

IT'S IN THE VALLEYS I GROW
 
Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

 

 

 

 

you are a better driver than me

Reasons why I am a horrible driver:

 

1.  Left the car running over night (see earlier blog entry)

2.  Backed up into a tree doing a three point turn last week. 

3.  Tire pressure is low in my front right tire - that might be from running up on the curb too many times.

4.  Two weeks ago I got my first speeding ticket in 7 years - know a good lawyer?

 

I finally started laughing in the car last night as Jeremy was filling the tire with air and admitted that I am tired of making excuses and I just may be the worst driver ever.  It was good to finally let go.  Oops, I just thought of number five.

 

5.  Backed into a car at a stop light.  (sorry honey, I didn't tell you about this one, I'll explain later - and it was a long time ago - sorta)

 

Last but not least, compliments of Elisabeth Elliot:

 

Several Ways to Make Yourself Miserable

1. Count your troubles, name them one by one--at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.
2. Worry every day about something. Don't let yourself get out of practice. It won't add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.
3. Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.
4. Devise clever but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, a man's gotta live.
5. Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they're going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.
6. Stay away from absolutes. It's what's right for you that matters. Be your own person and don't allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.
7. Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people's. You have your life to live, they have theirs.
8. Don't fall into any compassion traps--the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people's troubles, you may neglect your own.
9. Don't let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what's really relevant--things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones--they're where it's at now.

Blessings,

C

everything

I've been checking out alot of videos online lately, and of all the ones I watched this had the greatest impact on me. I wish the resolution was sharper but the message is still clear. If you know any young women, or ever were one yourself, you need to see this.



I think the video speaks for itself.

Blessings,
C

transparent

 

Two things I was reminded of last night:

 

1.  Jeremy is more honest than I am. 

 

2.  If you go to bed at 1:30 and have to wake up at 6:30, you will probaby be late for work. 

 

Scenario one:  Jeremy wrote a few blogs recently which I finally read last night.  You can check them out at http://jeremymulder.blogspot.com .  He then asked me what I thought.  I hesitated because I wasn't sure how to respond.  On one hand, he made some really good arguments about some things and took a stance for what he believes are important in our faith.  On the other hand, he was so transparent and candid that I wondered if people would be offended by what he wrote and how he wrote it.  I chose to be honest and candid with him as well, and when I responded it didn't go over so well at first.  I told him I was uncomfortable with how he wrote some things, and that maybe he was being offensive, and who knows what else. 

 

In the end, we talked it out and realized a couple things.  We BOTH want to be honest, transparent and truthful in our thoughts and words.  Jeremy is transparent in his blog, and I am transparent in my opinions of Jeremy's blog.  It is also apparent that I still have some things to learn about really being truthful and honest about who I am.  What I admire is that my husband really is not concerned with what other people think of him.  He cares for people deeply, but when it comes to what he believes he is willing to say whatever he thinks is the truth.  Does he go too far?  Who knows.  When I want to speak the truth, I am always concerned at how I am percieved or how I come across, and get really nervous about offending people, so sometimes I may gloss over something and the message may be lost.  this I realize may be an area for me to work on. 

 

 In the end, we both want to speak the truth, and are willing to reveal the messy reflection of Christ that we are - in hopes that through that honesty you may see and hear God's truth, His passion, and His love reflected through us.   

 

Oh, and by the way, scenario two is that I got up late and came to work late.  Yep, that's it.  

 

Blessings, 

C  

 

 

new dawn

It started with a small pair of shorts, and then socks hidden behind the crib. Since Dom left us last friday to live with his birth father, I have kept myself together for the most part. Tonight, I fought back my emotions and lost. I know he is in a good place. And I know that this is what we have been preparing him for for the past year. And I know that this is part of God's purpose and plan, to grow me, to grow him, to show His glory.

But tonight I hurt.

Praise God that tomorrow brings a new dawn.

In Him,
C

Deliver me
out of the sadness
Deliver me
from all of the madness
Deliver me
courage to guide me
Deliver me
Your strength inside me

All of my life, I've been in hiding,
wishing there was someone just like you
now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through

Deliver me
Loving and caring
Deliver me
Giving and sharing
Deliver me
This cross that I'm bearing

David Crowder Band

Moonless Trust

I can't seem to find the words lately. Right now I'm just thankful to be reminded of God's truth through others.

Another Devotional, compliments of Elisabeth Elliot

Some of you are perhaps feeling that you are voyaging just now on a moonless sea. Uncertainty surrounds you. There seem to be no signs to follow. Perhaps you feel about to be engulfed by loneliness. There is no one to whom you can speak of your need.

Amy Carmichael wrote of such a feeling when, as a missionary of twenty-six, she had to leave Japan because of poor health, then travel to China for recuperation, but then realized God was telling her to go to Ceylon. (All this preceded her going to India, where she stayed for fifty-three years.) I have on my desk her original handwritten letter of August 25, 1894, as she was en route to Colombo. "All along, let us remember, we are not asked to understand, but simply to obey.... On July 28, Saturday, I sailed. We had to come on board on Friday night, and just as the tender (a small boat) where were the dear friends who had come to say goodbye was moving off, and the chill of loneliness shivered through me, like a warm love-clasp came the long-loved lines--'And only Heaven is better than to walk with Christ at midnight, over moonless seas.' I couldn't feel frightened then. Praise Him for the moonless seas--all the better the opportunity for proving Him to be indeed the El Shaddai, 'the God who is Enough."'

Let me add my own word of witness to hers and to that of the tens of thousands who have learned that He is indeed Enough. He is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light.

Blessings,
C

christian radio

Ahhhh, Christian radio. Who was the brilliant mastermind behind this 24/7 burst of incessant joy and happiness? It astonishes me how chipper Christian radio DJ's seem to be, always waking up on the right side of the bed, and greeting their listeners with an eerily cheery "Hi-diddly-ho, neighbouroo" (compliments of Ned Flanders). But as much as I have mocked Christian radio DJ's (and Christian radio in general) I found myself saddened recently as I received news that the Christian radio station I listened to in Miami has been sold and will no longer be on the air.

Most days 89.7 Spirit FM seemed to be the only light in the otherwise dismal and spiritless city that is Miami, FL. Cheesy DJ's and all, it was all I really listened to. Not that my options were bountiful, after all, virtually every other station in Miami consisted of some variety of the latest revamped and remixed club songs. Nonetheless, Spirit FM got me through three years in Miami, giving me my "daily dose of the Word" and introducing me to the personalities of James McDonald, John MacArthur, Tony Evans and Bob Coy. Sad that it is no longer :-(

Check out what's left of their website here: www.wmcuradio.com

In the meantime, I have found an online station that gets through my web filter at work to listen to. I'll try to remember to post the link when I go back to work. Which I wish was never, but will probably be tomorrow.

C