the shadow of His hand

I'm at work right now but my mind is at home with my patient husband and three fussy babies.  Days like this it's hard to be here, because the whole time I am thinking that I should be the one home with them and he should be out changing the world.  I literally walked out the door and left him behind with three screaming children.  He is so patient with them and trusts that this arrangement is only temporary, but it still breaks me sometimes.  I work because for now it is how we support our family, but we have a vision for Jeremy returning to ministry full time at which point I will then be home (atleast part time).  Until this vision is realized however, at times it feels like we are in a shadow of darkness. 

 

Oswald Chambers describes it like this :

 

"Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" (Isaiah 49:2). The saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light-that is the time to listen...When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing." Read the full text here. 

 

I love how Isaiah 49:2 puts it!

 

 2 He made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
       in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
       he made me into a polished arrow
       and concealed me in his quiver.

 

It's as if we are getting impatient and wondering when God will finally use us for this thing He has created us for, and all the while God has been grinding out the imperfections and waiting for the perfect moment to bring us into battle.

 

Welp, Jeremy just called, and there are not crying babies in the background, and he is coming to my work to bring me clothes for a Yoga class I forgot I was taking, and he sounds like he is in a good mood.  So that is nice.  Maybe I can go ahead and get back to work now. 

life sucks jesus saves

There is this little old white nightstand that used to sit by my bed when I was younger. It had this neat V-shaped shelve in the middle of it that held my current favorite books, probably something by Beverly Cleary or else those Twin Valley High books that were so awesome back then.

During one of my pre-teen fits of self-despair, and probably after a boy I hardly knew dumped me for some other girl, I remember scribbling something on this little dresser with my nail polish. I remember it because it stayed there for years, and maybe even to this day if I knew where it ended up. It said "Life Sucks".

That's not the first time I felt this way, and not the last. I think I've learned to phrase it better, or sugar coat it with thought provoking words of wisdom and insight, but the truth of it still stings. No matter what we do, no matter how we phrase it, sometimes things will just be bad. Life will suck the energy out of you and you will feel like you are stranded in the sweltering waves of a hot desert, your mouth crack and dry, your body aching and fatigued, weary and yearning for relief.

But there is hope.

Jeremy and I are starting a new journey this year, one that may or may not bear fruit, but we are trusting in God and praying that He's with us no matter the outcome.

We'd love for you to join us on this journey.
www. lifesucksjesussaves.com