One of the greatest reliefs of being married is that the whole "dating" thing is over. No more wondering, "where is this relationship going?", no more forced RDT's (relationship defining talks), no more blank stares wondering "what is he thinking about?", or over-analyzing EVERY single detail of a night with my girlfriends and trying to use our crazy woman powers to interpret every little word, movement, breath to see if his affections match my own. I've got my man, and he's got me - forever!
But, there comes a time - which likely coincides with little feet invading your home - that you have to relearn to date your spouse. You have to remember what is was about that person that made you fall so madly in love with them in the first place, and you have to do all those little things for them that you used to do so easily. You have to relearn for him, and for yourself.
So Jer and I are finally dating again! And it's long overdue. We've spent plenty of date nights home together, but somehow the unfolded laundry or a restless toddler finds a way to crowd the couch we should be curling up in together. So we are going out, sans children, and trying to learn how to date each other again. There are no blank stares, or wondering what the other person is thinking, but there is a lot of cutting through the stress that life has piled up in your life and getting to the root of what made you drawn to each other in the first place.
Thankfully, it's still easy for us. It took us about a 1/2 hour reconnect and tackle unresolved tensions between us, but before long we were back to ourselves, talking freely and enjoying one another without any outside demands or distractions. We enjoyed a long dinner and I managed to score a free beer! We talked so long we missed the early movie we were going to, but neither of us really cared in the end.
I'm so thankful that God has not designed us to do life alone.
Oh, and that we have friends crazy enough to take in our 3 babies under 2 for a night. :)
3 comments:
funny that. Mike and i had a date on the same night! It's so easy to get caught up in every day life and to forget to spent intentional time with the one you love. It takes work like everything else and is so worth it ;)
Did you guys get to go out? It's not a date if he can't open the door for you!
Your dad and I went on a "date night" six months after Melanie was born. Because our lives had revolved around her since her birth, we decided that we would talk about anything BUT the baby. We sat and stared at each other for 1/2 hour or more before either of us could think of anything else to talk about. It was as if we were dating for the first time! As we re-discovered each other, we also discovered the importance of having date nights. I'm glad you and Jer make time for them.
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