the shadow of His hand

I'm at work right now but my mind is at home with my patient husband and three fussy babies.  Days like this it's hard to be here, because the whole time I am thinking that I should be the one home with them and he should be out changing the world.  I literally walked out the door and left him behind with three screaming children.  He is so patient with them and trusts that this arrangement is only temporary, but it still breaks me sometimes.  I work because for now it is how we support our family, but we have a vision for Jeremy returning to ministry full time at which point I will then be home (atleast part time).  Until this vision is realized however, at times it feels like we are in a shadow of darkness. 

 

Oswald Chambers describes it like this :

 

"Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" (Isaiah 49:2). The saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light-that is the time to listen...When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing." Read the full text here. 

 

I love how Isaiah 49:2 puts it!

 

 2 He made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
       in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
       he made me into a polished arrow
       and concealed me in his quiver.

 

It's as if we are getting impatient and wondering when God will finally use us for this thing He has created us for, and all the while God has been grinding out the imperfections and waiting for the perfect moment to bring us into battle.

 

Welp, Jeremy just called, and there are not crying babies in the background, and he is coming to my work to bring me clothes for a Yoga class I forgot I was taking, and he sounds like he is in a good mood.  So that is nice.  Maybe I can go ahead and get back to work now.