tips for the first 8

Yesterday Jeremy and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary. I was inspired by his recent blog on the subject and decided to add my own thoughts.

For some reason I am much more reflective this year than I have been on previous anniversarys. In fact, I don't really remember last years anniversary, or the year before, but this one really sticks out. I suppose it is in part due to the fact that we have recently lost several family members and life seems a little more precious, or perhaps it is simply because 8 seems really close to 10, which feels like a big year. Anyhow, here are my tips for your first 8 years of marriage.

Year 1 - Enjoy the making up after the fights, there will be many this year. Also find more mature couples to help you in your new journey!

Year 2 - Now that you've taken a break from yelling, start learning your love languages and practice!

Year 3 - If you are still trying to change your spouse, stop now! They need to know you love them for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Year 4 - Cut back on the things you've let slip into your schedule, and refocus on having fun together.

Year 5 - Start helping younger couples, you will learn alot and appreciate how far you have already come. Oh, and take a trip for this anniversary, it's an important milestone!

Year 6 - Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. Don't fall into complacency and not nurture your friendship.

Year 7 - Don't itch! You are doing great and should be! You've accomplished some great things together but have so much more to look forward to - keep dreaming together.

Year 8 - Reassess your goals. Maybe you're not where you want to be, but if you have been faithful to one another you are likely where God wants you to be :-)

Yep. That's it. Happy loving!

Rest

I remember swinging in a rope hammock in my Uncles old backyard during one of many family get-togethers. My eyes are closed and I'm not sleeping, but I know by keeping them shut I will be left alone to just swing and enjoy the breeze. One of my older relatives walks by and makes a comment about how cozy I must look and I know that for a moment my relatives admire my small 5 year old frame snuggled in the hammock, and reflect on the simplicity of childhood. I can hear younger siblings and cousins voices echo around me as they run in circles, laugh and play. I hear the many conversations of all the adults lingering about, conversations which I will listen to briefly before abandoning them in favor of my own thoughts. I can smell the fresh scent of summer, the aroma of newly cut grass mixed with the poignant odor of a fiery grill. And I am at rest.

I remember laying in my sleeping bag at Hopeville Pond under the thin veil of stretched nylon surrounding me on all sides. The rain dances above me in a rhythmic pattern as it drums the tent. I am fully awake, but the last to rise on this and many other mornings. I breath deeply the smell of rain as it breaks to let in the fresh blueberry pancakes on the grill and my mothers morning cup of coffee. Sounds echo through the tall pine trees sprinkled through the campground, and I can hear children already riding around on bikes, babies crying, and mothers yelling across campsites warning their children to not wander. If I could suppress my hunger and desire to seek out adventure, I could lay here all day.

Today I lay on the couch in my living room. It is still a little stiff, not quite broken in, but it is all I need to steal a few moments of rest. The moist air brushes past the white window curtains, tossing them gently aside. I hear cars passing by on the street, and my husband tinkering about, finishing his afternoon projects. I smell a familiar scent, one mixed with the memories of summers spent outdoors, and the comfort of being surrounded by family. The musical mobile hanging above Jada's crib lets out a few faint notes before ending it's song, and I fall into a deep slumber.

"Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Matthew 11:29-30